Fear Does Not Define Me

Posted by harmonio on February 25, 2014

Here’s something that a lot of people don’t know about me. Throughout my fourteen years as a professional in the horse industry I have had to deal with my own fears, when it comes to riding and horses, on a regular basis. Just today I was riding the “babysitter” horse when two other horses suddenly started play fighting beside the ring. I spooked. The horse I was riding didn’t. Luckily for me I learned a long time ago it’s better to laugh at myself than beat myself up for wishing I was someone I’m not. The truth is I am a horse lover, a rider, an equine behaviour specialist and I am not fearless. But here’s the important part. 

My fear does not define me and it does not limit me. 

In fact, because I have been willing to ride and work with some very difficult horses I have often been commended for being fearless and brave. This always makes me smile because it is not at all how I perceive myself. Furthermore the reason I am so successful with challenging horses is because I am willing to embrace my fear and use it to help guide me forward in a positive way. That’s right.

My fear actually helps me ride and train the horses that no one else wants to deal with. 

Now it wasn’t always this way. Fear and I have been on a long journey together. I’ve resisted it and I’ve resented it. I’ve tried to pretend it didn’t exist and I’ve felt stuck in it. Then I started to learn from it. I began to listen to it and even to embrace it. Rather than working against fear I learned to work with it. That’s when things really shifted.

My fear became one of my secret weapons when it comes to excelling at what I love, helping horses.

The above statement is really important. I love helping horses, especially the ones that would otherwise slip easily through the cracks. I’ve always been that way. If there’s a horse that people say can’t be helped I want to help it. Even if that means having my fear triggered. My passion for helping horses is greater than my resistance to fear. Whenever I resist becoming fully present with the uncomfortable sensations that accompany fear my desire to help the horses overrides my resistance. I know if you’ve been riding through fear that there is an underlying passion/desire that is propelling you forward.

What passion/desire do you possess that’s greater than your resistance to fear? 

Dig deep for the answer to this one. It is something to hold onto when you're feeling frustrated by fear. Then remember they don’t have to contradict each other. For a long time I made the assumption that because I had fear I was not going to be able to help horses in the way I wanted to. The opposite was true.

My journey with fear deepened my abilities and my relationship with horses. 

If you’re ready to have your fear propel you forward as opposed to hold you back then check out my upcoming Calm & Confident Series here. If you’re not able to attend this live event no problem. We’ll be turning it into an online event asap so you can enjoy it from wherever you are in the world. Just sign up here and we’ll keep you posted on everything Calm & Confident related.